This is the greatest tweet in the history of tweets
if you go to hell for being bad why wouldn’t satan reward you for it why does he make you suffer wtf id be like hell yeah motherfucker you my nigga lets party
i started to laugh and then i realized that this is actually a really valid question
Alternatively, if Satan punishes sinners, why isn’t he considered good?
If the Pope dies, is he being promoted or fired?
We’re becoming self aware
shoutout to girlcode for being fabulous
Be prepared to participate in no dick decemberbe prepared to be told that no one wants your misogynistic dick anyway you arrogant shit
I love it when guys use sex as a bartering tool like IF YOU DON’T LOOK PERFECT AND SPARKLY ALL THE TIME I’M NOT GOING TO PLEASE MYSELF WITH YOU
like BITCH THEY LITERALLY SELL DICKS BIGGER THAN YOURS I DON’T NEED SHIT FROM YOU
Man’s best friend
I like how he picks him up and is all, “There you go!”
fucked his shit up
He just puts him over the counter all “Yeah that’s right Sparky you fuck his shit up”
i think i can accurately say that i can crush a man’s head with my thighs